I recently came across and watched a video on my Youtube recommended page titled Sexual Assault of Men Played for Laughs – Part 2 Female Perpatrators. I highly recommend that the reader watch this video.
As the title suggests, it is the second video of a two-part series where the content creator goes into detail on how the portrayal of sexual assault of men in media is normalized and how it is often shown for comedic effect. The first video discusses the sexual assault of men by male perpetrators, which I also highly suggest you to watch.
For the purposes of this blog post, I will only be discussing the content of the second video and compare it to actual experiences of friends and myself.
The video goes into detail about several tropes and themes common in modern media when depicting the sexual assault of men.
Gender flipping: The simple essence of flipping the genders in a sexual assault act is ‘comedic’. Media does this to emphasize the ‘ridiculousness’ of the situation. The switch in gender roles, with men being subordinate and women asserting control, is not seen as the norm in our society. Seeing men in a position of weakness is why this would be seen as ‘comedic’.
Poetic Justice: Many movies and TV shows end up depicting the sexual assault of men as ‘poetic justice’. This is especially the case for villains or men who are considered ‘players’. An example of this is Quagmire from Family Guy. The sexual assault of this character, who has a history of committing terrible and questionable acts, is seen as justified because Quagmire is a terrible person.
Sexy Assault: The idea that men always want to have sex is reinforced throughout the media and is especially the case with this trope. There is ‘no wrong’ in assaulting men because men always and should always ‘want it’. Media at times will go one step further by having the female perpetrator be conventionally attractive. There is no way a ‘real’ man could turn down the sexual advances of an attractive woman, doing so would be against the norm.
Abhorrent Admirers: Media also uses the sexual assault of men to attack women. When the perpetrator happens to be someone who society traditionally sees as unattractive, it suggests that unattractive woman cannot have relations unless it is through sexual assault. This trope is typically aimed toward women who are older, overweight, and those who don’t have eurocentric features.
Watching the video made me realize how common the depiction of sexual assault of men in media was. It concerned me especially that it is often played for comedic effect. I believe that when media depicts sexual assault non-seriously, it dilutes the severity of the problem. It also warps our perception. When it is played for laughs, it suggests that assault is a non-issue and should not be taken seriously, when the opposite is true.
As the video stated at the beginning, statistically speaking most perpetrators of sexual assault are men. However, this does not mean that female perpetrators do not exist or that they are a non-issue.
I would argue that there is a double standard when it comes to the sexual assault of men whether or not it is a male or female perpetrator. The double standard is perpetuated by the media and subsequently perpetuated by society.
One example of this is the reaction from the public when legacy media report on the sexual assault/rape of a male student. When the perpetrator happens to be a female teacher, there is a good chance you may find a comment on social media of people minimizing it.
“Why would this kid snitch,” “This was my fantasy when I was younger,” and “That kid is lucky,” are the sorts of comments you can find under such posts or videos. Comments like this are horrifying and would not be acceptable to say if the genders were reversed.
I can also say from personal experience that sexual assault is not taken serious by others when the victim is male and the perpetrator is female.
In my freshman year of high school, I took a stage tech class that consisted of students from all grade levels. There was a senior girl in the class who took pleasure in picking on the freshman boys.
In one instance, I remember the whole class was in the auditorium. I was sitting a row behind the senior girl. This particular day she was bugging me for my phone, to which I repeatedly said I wasn’t giving it to her. After some back and forth she groped me in my genital area before snatching my phone and telling me, “I can tell you’re not a grower or a shower.”
At the moment I was mostly annoyed that my phone got taken away. I brushed it off as a bully trying to get me angry. For the longest time, I remember telling everyone this story as a funny anecdote, “little does she know, I’m actually not small.”
It wasn’t until I told one of my close girl friends the story that I was told what happened to me was sexual assault. I remember the feeling of embarrassment washing over me. I had gone around telling people this story as if it was the funniest thing ever. Every single person I told laughed at it and reassured me that I ended up getting the last laugh.
When we see the sexual assault of men being played for laughs in the media, it diminishes the severity of it. I strongly believe we should stop showing these scenes for comedic purposes. The sexual assault of men by female perpetrators isn’t funny. The sexual assault of men isn’t funny. Sexual assault in general isn’t funny. I call for TV and film writers to reconsider these scenes as they end up harming us by giving us the idea that sexual assault is a non-issue.